A Shinigami Carol
by Jadetarem
Summary: Rangiku reads a copy of A Christmas Carol, and devises a grand prank to pull on her Captain.  Hitsugaya is taken through his past, present, and future holidays, snarking the entire way, but something is a little off about this prank. Some HitsugayaXMomo.


Hi, everyone!

This will be my second Bleach story. I'm sure the premise has been done before, but this is my shot at it – A Christmas Carol, Bleach-style. It's pretty silly, even by anime standards, and will be a _lot_ shorter than Doctor's Orders, which is my other story here. I had hoped to have all of it out by or on December 25, but missed the deadline by a few hours. Merry Late Christmas, and I hope you enjoy!

Notes:

For anyone wondering, Sojiro Kusaka is a rather major character from the second Bleach movie, _Diamond Dust Rebellion._

I'll be using the English Dub names for most things, since I know very little about any of the forms of the Japanese language. I also just use a single 'o' for the special ō and a single 'u' for the special ū characters, largely for convenience. If this ruins the story for you, then I'm sorry in advance.

In the Bleach timeline, this story takes place during the giant time-skip after the Fake Karakura Town battle.

I do not own Bleach, or any part of it. I do not own A Christmas Carol.

* * *

_**Prologue: Bah, Humbug!**_

_Our story begins, not too long ago,_

_In a land without Christmas or winter or snow,_

_And a very young captain, who makes his home there,_

_He's short and he's grumpy, with a shock of white hair._

_And while Christmas is not celebrated by ghosts,_

_This captain had less Christmas spirit than most!_

_He saw it as his vice captain's excuse_

_To skip out on her duties – a Christmas abuse!_

"_It's just your excuse to goof off!" he would shout._

_(He was right, but that's not what this story is about.)_

_No, this story is about a night poorly lit,_

_And a visit our captain would never forget._

_As spirits he thought that he knew from the start,_

_Would all try their hardest to unfreeze his heart._

_Full of mischief and wonder, unwilling to fail,_

_They haunted that captain, and *here* is the tale…_

_

* * *

_

**Part 1 – A False and Commercial Lieutenant**

The evening began, as so many did, with Toshiro Hitsugaya, Captain of the Tenth Division of the Gotei Thirteen, metaphorically chained to his desk, catching up on division paperwork. This evening, however, his lieutenant was more determined than usual to shake him from that spot. Rangiku Matsumoto, the Tenth Division's lieutenant, was an all-around flake, not to mention lazy and a borderline alcoholic. However, the one duty she took seriously was looking out for her captain's well-being, both on and off the battlefield, and on this night she made an extra effort to get Hitsugaya out of the office.

"You really need to get out and have some fun tomorrow, Captain," she said, in the process of mixing some final ingredients into her eggnog, "Christmas only comes around once a year."

"You go out partying all the time, Rangiku," Hitsugaya said, bored. He reached for another form. "On top of that, you're the only one who celebrates it around here."

"Oh, that's not true, Captain. Some of the other officers are joining me this year, and it's very popular in a lot of places in the mortal world."

"Everything's on sale, is that it?"

"You bet!" Matsumoto grinned, taking a sip of her latest concoction. "Besides, it's not just about the shopping. There are a lot of great holiday traditions out there. I've been reading about them."

Hitsugaya rubbed the bridge of his nose, not looking up from his work. "Oh, this ought to be good…"

"Well, for instance, the tradition of rum-and-eggnog recipes dates all the way back to Santa Claus's days as a pirate!"

Hitsugaya finally stopped writing for a moment to look up. "…What?"

"It's true! A long time ago, Santa Claus was actually a fearsome pirate known as Blackbeard. Eventually, though, he became a Good Guy after discovering the Spirit of Christmas, and his beard turned white to symbolize that – or maybe because he got old, I forget. Anyway, he took on the name "Santa Claus," because Whitebeard is a really lame name, and started giving away gifts to the innocent people he had once plundered from – but to honor his piratical roots, we still put rum in eggnog, and his trademark laugh is 'Ho ho ho!', which was derived from the old pirate 'Yo ho ho!' Pretty neat, huh?"

A large sweat drop formed near Hitsugaya's head. "And the gravity-defying sleigh?"

"The _Flying Dutchman!_"

"I should have seen that one coming." Hitsugaya sighed. "And here I thought I'd warned everyone not to let you on the internet, Rangiku."

"Aww, that's mean! Which reminds me, the legends about the Grinch are even _more-_"

"Never mind, Matsumoto."

She leaned over his desk, still mixing her drink. "Do you want to know something cool about paperwork?"

"No."

Rangiku leaned over further, ignoring his response. "As it turns out, if you leave your desk for a while and come back later, _the paperwork will still be there!_ No one will come and steal it! In fact, no one will take it even if you try to _give_ it to them. Neat, huh?"

"Fascinating," Hitsugaya responded, without inflection.

"Come _on_." She said, physically tugging on him. "Relax for a bit! Talk to Momo! Watch me take down Captain Kyoraku in a drinking contest! Buy a silly hat!"

"Rangiku, I'm trying to get something done here! I'm already doing _your_ share of the paperwork, isn't that enough?"

She paused and let go. After a moment, she sighed. "Alright, Captain. Have a… nice evening. And a Merry Christmas."

"Hrmph."

Three seconds passed in blissful silence. And then…

"You know, a pretty girl might get bored if no one else comes to her party…"

"Try solitaire. And Matsumoto? I expect you back here when your watch actually begins, rather than when you feel like it."

"Hai." Rangiku rolled her eyes and flash-stepped away to make preparations for the next day's party.

* * *

Hitsugaya was still grumpy, a few minutes later, as he made a brief check of the division. Walking along, he suddenly heard a loud _clinking _noise from one of the narrower streets in his division. Moving back there he found a somewhat flushed and out-of-breath Momo.

"Ah, Shiro-chan!" She said cheerfully. "How are you doing?"

"Captain Hitsugaya," he corrected absently. "I'm fine. How are you?"

"Better now. Always better. Listen, are you going to Matsumoto's big bash?"

Hitsugaya sighed. "I don't think so. I have a lot of work to get done, _especially_ with Matsumoto throwing her party."

"Oh, come on. It would do you some good to get out of your office now and then."

"I can't, Momo." He said flatly, already sick of this argument. "Have fun at the party. I need to get back to work."

* * *

Rangiku did not go to finish planning her party – not right away, at any rate. She made a detour and wound up at one of the Women's Association's secret hideaways, deep within the walls and supporting rooms of Kuchiki manor. She found Isane and Kiyone already there. The Kotetsu sisters were kneeling waist-deep in black cloth, which (after several failed attempts) was finally taking the shape of a rather forbidding cloak.

"How's it going?" Rangiku asked.

"Slow," Kiyone responded, "since giraffe-girl here keeps trying to attach the sleeves to the neck. But we're making progress."

"That only happened once!" Isane protested. "Also, your costume is done, Rangiku." She pointed over at a white, decorative robe.

Kiyone rummaged around in the cloth. "So, did you find out if this is even legal or not?"

Rangiku scratched her head. "Um, sort of? There are a lot of fuzzy areas."

"So… you're going to get arrested."

"Maybe, but they only gave Aizen thirty-eight thousand years for murdering the government and trying to destroy the universe. Compared to that, this should rate about half an hour."

Isane shook her head. "No, they gave Aizen eighteen thousand years for that and twenty thousand for smack-talk. Extrapolating from there, this should get you the death sentence."

Rangiku raised an eyebrow. "So why are you helping?"

"Well, remember when you first told me about this insane prank, and I kind of blurted my response out loud? Well, my captain heard it."

Rangiku's eyes widened. "Captain Unohana knows about this? What did she do?"

"She told me it was a great idea." Isane sighed. "And then she ordered me to help you out."

Rangiku laughed. "Ha! I knew she had a sense of humor. Alright, that means we're still waiting on –"

The door slid open and two figures stalked in, one almost buried under a massive number of chains, locks, and cases of all descriptions – the other keeping the first one from toppling over, and closing the hidden door behind them.

Momo Hinamori dropped her pile of chains with an unfeminine grunt and then collapsed on them, panting. "There. Do you have any idea how hard it is to _sneak_ into this place with a huge load of chains in your arms?"

Behind her Nanao Ise checked the hallway outside. "Clear. And might I add once again that this is a _terrible_ idea?"

"Duly noted. You're late, by the way." Rangiku nodded. She pulled out the book that had inspired her to do this, when she'd read it in a fit of boredom, months ago. _A Christmas Carol._ There wasn't actually that much caroling in it, but what _was_ in the book was a great way to get her captain out of his office for a while. Whether he wanted to or not.

Momo rubbed her face with one hand. "We had a run-in with Shiro-chan on the way here. We were lucky that I was able to hide all of this before he saw us."

"Where did you find the chains?" Isane asked.

"Surplus storage, in the back. They won't be missed." Nanao adjusted her glasses, and began untangling the chains.

"I'm not sure why everyone just _assumed_ that I had a bunch of chains lying around." Momo said.

Rangiku shrugged absently. "I'm going to do one more check of the details, and then we need to talk about the Kido involved…"

* * *

**Part 2 – Scrooge-chan**

Hitsugaya's mood worsened as he plowed through one report after another. At one point he'd noticed that Rangiku had left a glass of her eggnog for him, in an uncharacteristic display of thoughtfulness, and he'd tasted it. The resulting stomach-cramps and dizziness still plagued him. _How the heck do you screw up eggnog?_ He wondered, signing yet another form.

Finally, he'd had enough, and he went to bed early. _I'll start early tomorrow._

He made it home and made a simple meal, deciding that after Rangiku's eggnog his stomach couldn't take anything fancier, and sat down to eat. While it rarely snowed in the Seireitei, it was getting cold out, and he briefly considered starting a fire before rejecting the idea. He'd be in bed soon enough.

And that was when he heard it.

_Clink. Clink-clank. Clashink. Clangleclink. Clink. Clink-shink._

"Who's there?" He called out. The noises started to get closer.

_Clank. Clank-ink. Clashink._

"This Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya, I repeat, who is there?" The noises reached his door.

_Clink. Clank. Clashink. CLUNK._

The door slid open. In staggered Momo, her uniform artfully shredded, her face framed by a heavy bandage, and her entire body draped with heavy chains, locks, lockboxes, and even a tiny filing cabinet or two. More alarming than all of that was the slightly withered, dead look to her. She turned and stared blankly at him, before moaning. _"Scrooooooge-chaaaaan!"_

Hitsugaya stared back. "What…the…hell?"

"_Scrooooooge-chaaaaan!"_ Dead-Momo staggered forward another couple of steps, dragging her chains as she went.

"What is this about? Momo, what's going on?" Hitsugaya stood up – he could still feel Momo's spiritual pressure, although it seemed oddly distant.

"Doooo you not recognize meeeeee?" She said. "Iiiiiii am Hina-Marley! And I've cooome to give you a waaaaaaarrning!"

Hitsugaya's eyebrow twitched. This suddenly managed to be annoying and creepy at the same time. "No, you're Momo Hinamori, Lieutenant of the Fifth Division. Could you please stop talking like that?"

"Fine." Hina-Marley said, keeping the strange inflections in her speech but no longer drawing out all of her vowels. "But you've got it wrong. I am _not_ Momo. I am Hina-Marley, the ghost of Momo's social life."

Hitsugaya sighed. "Oh good. For a minute, I thought Momo had lost it and begun acting out parts from a Charles Dickens novel, but now I know that I'm just hallucinating after drinking Matsumoto's eggnog."

"HEY!" Hina-Marley objected. "You cast magic spells, you have full-length conversations with an ice dragon sword-spirit, and the afterlife is a Japanese town from the Edo period, but for some reason *I* can't exist? That's a pretty selective reality filter you've got, there!"

"Okay, okay!" Hitsugaya held up his hands, taken aback. "You're not a hallucination. So what was this warning you came to give me?"

"Do you see these chains?" She held them up for his closer inspection. "These were the many duties and reports that I buried myself in when I was alive. I forged these chains and filing drawers, link by link and index by index! And now I suffer for eternity… doomed to walk the Seireitei separate from Momo, wondering why she can't unwind!"

"Momo has always been a diligent worker. I shouldn't think that actually doing the work that you're supposed to would merit punishment…"

"Idiot!" Hina-Marley shrieked suddenly. "These were not made by Momo for just for doing duty, it was for using meaningless make-work as a shield from socially awkward situations! She's trying to do it even now." She stared at Hitsugaya balefully. "And the same fate awaits you, Scrooge-chan –"

"Captain Hitsugaya."

"– for you see, you too are guilty of hiding behind your work, and neglecting your other duties. You also have a set of chains." There was an ominous _CLUNK_ in the hallway. "And I assure you that they are longer and noisier than mine!"

Before Hitsugaya could say anything else, she went on. "So tonight you will be haunted, by threeeeee spiiiiiirits!"

"I thought you weren't going to do that anymore."

Hina-Marley thumped her chest. "Sorry, something caught in my throat. Anyway, the first will come when the clock strikes one."

"We don't have a clock tower in the Seireitei."

She ignored him. "The _second_ will come when the clock strikes two."

"Couldn't they make an appointment, like everyone else?"

She pressed on. "And the third will come whenever it feels like it. Probably before dawn, though."

Hitsugaya sighed. "I suppose that all of them coming at the same time so that we can get this over with is out of the question?"

"That's right, Scrooge-chan." _Clink. Clashink._ "I take it you've read the novel?"

"Oh yes." Hitsugaya rubbed the bridge of his nose. He could already feel a headache coming. "Are you done?"

"Yes." Hina-Marley sighed, suddenly dejected. "I'm going, but I don't have anywhere to go." Startled by her sudden change in tone, Hitsugaya looked up. She was, surprisingly, already out of his room. Moving out into the hallway, he looked in all directions but couldn't find her.

_CLUNK. Clink. Clashink._

_Say hello to the other spirits for me, Scrooge-chan._

"It's _Captain Hitsugaya._" He corrected forcefully. He slammed the door shut.

Hitsugaya flopped down on his bed. He knew a prank when he saw one. Granted, this one was a bit more involved than most, but it had to be a prank. The only question was whether shutting it down or playing along would end it more quickly.

He was still pondering that question when he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**Part 3 – Past Tense**

Hitsugaya awoke to a strange sound, a bell tolling in a simple musical pattern in the distance. Finally, a deep _BONG_ announced the hour as one in the morning.

He stared at the ceiling. "But… we don't _have_ a clock tower," he whispered.

He lay there in the darkness for a moment longer, but nothing happened. _Well, at least they're finished with it. I hope whoever it was with Momo got a good laugh._ He rolled over and prepared to get back to sleep.

Then a glowing _something_ came out of nowhere and landed on his mattress with enough force to launch him clean out of it, bounce off the nearest wall, and land unceremoniously with his face buried in the something's chest.

He heard a muffled voice from somewhere above him. "Goodness, I didn't think you'd be _that_ happy to see me."

He rolled away to avoid suffocating. "Matsumoto. I'm not surprised that you're a part of this. The surprising thing is that you're actually here. Don't all the bars close at two?"

"Ah, but I am _not_ your precious Rangiku Matsumoto. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past."

Hitsugaya looked up at her. She _looked_ exactly like Rangiku. Her long, strawberry-blonde hair, her face, her eyes, her height, and her enormous bust were all the same, but her outfit was a long, white robe, belted together under a simple, whiter shift. She carried with her a long, golden horn. All in all, she looked less like a Shinigami lieutenant and more like a Greek goddess.

Hitsugaya grunted. "Of _course_ you are. Look, could we do this at a decent hour instead? I've never celebrated Christmas before, so it isn't like we have anything to talk about."

Past stood up. "My, you're a cranky little boy at this time of night."

"I am _not_ a little boy." Hitsugaya said hotly.

"You look and sound like one to me." Past shrugged. "Anyway, I've always been a bigger fan of showing than telling."

"Look, Rangiku, I don't know if this is supposed to impress me or what, but I've had enough. Just get on with it."

"As you wish. History isn't going anywhere." Past twirled her golden horn, and a moment later Hitsugaya found himself standing on a crowded street in the West Rukongai.

Hitsugaya blinked. "Alright, that was kind of impressive. What is this, some kind of illusion?"

The ghost started walking, unperturbed. "It is no simple trick. We are spectators to a Christmas from long ago. No one can see us or hear us."

"Ah, assuming that you actually did transport us to a past Rukongai, which I admit is Kido way beyond what I thought you were capable of, the space-time spells are forbidden." Hitsugaya fidgeted, wondering for the first time if this was actually Rangiku he was dealing with. "The Central Forty-Six take it kind of personally when you warp reality."

"I'm petrified." Past said, in a tone suggesting that she was responding to a quip about the weather.

Hitsugaya was about to say something else, when a small ball bounced in front of him, followed by a large crowd of children, one of which had a remarkable shock of white hair. The sounds of their play came to him.

"Go, Tomoe! Get it!"

"Take it from her, Genji!"

"Stop them, Toshiro!"

Hitsugaya took a closer look at the white-haired boy. The boy looked _exactly_ like he once had. In fact, due to his slow rate of maturation, the boy looked remarkably similar to Hitsugaya himself. "Wow. What kid did you find to play him?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Nothing."

The game continued, with one team finally winning as the white haired kid, Toshiro, dodged around the others, keeping the ball near him with his feet until he reached the impromptu 'goal' – a large bin full of garbage. Toshiro kicked the ball in and a cat yowled in protest as the other kids on his team cheered.

And then it got ugly. The leader of the other team started shouting. "Hey! It's no fair using the _spooky_ kid."

"Toshiro isn't spooky! You're just mad 'cuz you lost."

"Yeah right. He'll probably be a Soul Reaper one day. You only put him on your team so he'd use his spook powers to make you win. It's cheating."

"I didn't cheat." Toshiro said, quietly.

"Did too."

"No. I wouldn't do that!" Toshiro said, louder.

"Of _course_ you did. Everyone says you're weird. It gets cold around you for no reason. Animals freak out when they see you. They say you're cursed, and it's killing the creepy old lady you live with –"

"I _said_ I _didn't cheat!_" Toshiro shouted at him. A sudden, icy blast of wind roared down the street, setting birds flying and dogs barking. Clouds roiled in overhead, out of nowhere. Ice crept across a puddle in a nearby alleyway.

All of the kids stared at him for a moment. Then they fled, the less brave among them actually screaming.

"No! Stop! That wasn't me! It wasn't…" Toshiro looked around the street. "It can't be me…" He waited a moment longer before running off, past the goal. On his way past, the cat in the bin swiped at him – Toshiro ducked sideways and into the alley.

Hitsugaya stared. "I'd almost forgotten about that. It seems kind of petty compared to Hollow-hunting and the Academy and the Winter War."

"It was important to you then." Past said, looking at him. "A power that you couldn't control dominated a greater and greater part of your life."

"I know. I was there, remember?" Hitsugaya said, irritably. "Are we done here?"

"Not quite. There's one other thing for you to see." She led him into the alleyway, where they found Toshiro. He was staring into the half-frozen puddle, and he suddenly punched the ice and made a wordless wail, which Hitsugaya remembered making largely because he hadn't known any good swear words at the time.

They watched as Toshiro began quietly crying and watching the broken bits of ice slowly melt.

"Yes. _This_ is what every man wants to see." Hitsugaya said, sarcastically. "He wants to see himself as a little boy, crying into a puddle."

"If you thought we were going to examine parts of you that you _want_ to see, tonight is not going to be your night." Past pointed. "Just out of curiosity, what would you tell him if you _could_ talk to him now?"

"I'd tell him to suck it up. It's all downhill from here." Hitsugaya rolled his eyes. "Can we please move on now?"

"Very well. I find it interesting that you say it's _all_ downhill from here. There was nothing joyful about your life out here?"

Hitsugaya's eyebrow twitched. "Joyful? Getting picked on by the other kids for no reason, watching Granny's health get worse each day? That was supposed to be joyful?"

"No rose-tinted glasses for you, I see. In that case, let's move on." She twirled her horn again, and suddenly they were standing in front of a _very_ familiar building.

"Granny!" Hitsugaya said. "She…"

"…cannot hear you, remember?" Past put a hand on his shoulder. "You're here to observe one of those not-joyful moments."

A slightly younger-looking Momo came trotting out in her old academy uniform. "Shiro-Chan! I'm home!"

Hitsugaya rolled his eyes. "It's Captain Hitsugaya."

"Don't call me that." Toshiro ran out, but nonetheless plowed into Momo for a hug. Hitsugaya noticed that, just for a moment, he looked a bit more relaxed. "I guess they finally let you out for a while."

Momo smiled. "I thought you were happy to see me go."

"I was!" Toshiro huffed, but there was no real force to it. "Your hair is longer."

"I know!" Momo sat down. "And I got you your favorite." She put down the watermelon she'd been carrying.

Past and Hitsugaya watched the pair of them. For a while they talked about nothing, about the academy, and made fun of each other. It was an interesting contrast to a moment ago.

"It seems you were something of a brat." Past observed. "But you cared about her."

"I still do. She was the only one even close to my age who didn't treat me like some kind of freak." Hitsugaya crossed his arms and looked back over at Momo and whatever kid they'd picked to play him.

"So… when are you going to apply to the academy, Shiro-chan?" Momo teased.

"My _name_ is Toshiro. And I'm never going to your academy!" He stuck out his tongue at her and she laughed.

"Alright then, Mr. Hitsugaya. I still need to say hi to Granny." She got up and walked inside.

"I'll go with you!" Toshiro bounced up and in after her.

The sounds of laughter wafted out. Past turned and began walking away. "No joy here. No indeed…"

Hitsugaya threw his arms up in the air. "Alright! We all had a great day. But even if this was the twenty-fifth day of December, it still doesn't have much to do with Christmas. Doesn't our existence here in the afterlife kind of make the holiday moot?"

"Tch. That sentiment is the product of lazy thinking. This is so like you, Scrooge-chan."

Hitsugaya followed her, forgetting to correct her on his name. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, to begin with, you've never even considered what lies beyond _this_ life, and perhaps beyond the great cycle."

"Nothing?"

"Are you so sure of that? But either way, you can have a spiritual Christmas without religious connotations. It's a season of giving, of goodwill, and of rest. It's a time to reunite with friends and family."

Hitsugaya actually snorted. "From what I've seen, it's mostly a season of buying and selling."

Past shrugged. "What the merchants choose to do is up to them, and if some people see it only as a commercial venture, then so be it. But that doesn't change what Christmas is, as long as someone is willing to remember."

"Fine," Hitsugaya said, "are we done yet? I'm trying to get to bed before dawn."

"Ah, so eager to leave your past behind? Some people dwell too much on the past, but I wonder if you've examined yours closely enough." Past twirled her horn. "But we have one more stop to make."

Hitsugaya looked around. He was in a large room full of long, low tables, and it was absolutely packed with people – Soul Reapers, to be exact. They were all wearing the Academy's uniforms, and Hitsugaya quickly found himself, eating alone.

But not for long. "Hey, Toshiro! You ready for the Kido demonstration later? Everyone's waiting to see what you've got."

Hitsugaya felt his jaw trying to fall open. Sojiro Kusaka strode in and sat across from Hitsugaya without hesitation. Several other reapers joined in, each greeting Toshiro and Kusaka as they, too, sat and began eating.

He and Past watched as the group talked. They ate, laughed, and grilled a grinning Hitsugaya about what he was going to do for the Kido test. They speculated about what his Zanpakuto would be like. Kusaka made joking promises to show him up at sparring practice later.

"You seem quite a bit happier here." Past observed.

Hitsugaya shrugged. "Why not? Here I had clarity of purpose. I was still different, but people stopped avoiding me on principle. It let me get my life on track, really."

"Ah. So _that's_ why you were crying in that alley. Because you lacked _clarity of purpose._" Past snickered.

"So what? What's funny about that?"

"You're lying. To yourself and to a ghost. That's what's funny. You were crying, Scrooge-chan, because you lacked friends. Fellowship. You wanted those, didn't you?"

Hitsugaya crossed his arms again. "Alright, first, it's _Captain Hitsugaya._ I don't see what's so hard about that. Second, everyone here is a ghost. Nothing personal, but if that's what you are then you're not that special. Third, maybe I did want a few friends. What's wrong with that?"

"Friends. Fellowship. Or maybe something more. It's a good question."

They stared at each other for a long, awkward moment before turning to watch the group get up and walk out. They passed right by Hitsugaya and Past in the process. As they made their way to the door, Hitsugaya finally said, quietly, "I think I know what I would say to him."

"Oh? You mean something other than harsh words, to prepare him for this harsh world?"

Hitsugaya ignored her. "I think… I would tell him that he figures it out. That he finds a way to save Granny and gain control of his power before it hurts anyone."

"Other than a few hundred Hollows and Gin Ichimaru."

"You know what I mean."

Past smiled. "Indeed."

Hitsugaya turned to her. "So are we done now? Like I said, I'm trying to get to bed, here."

Past shrugged. "I have no way to actually change anything. Getting back is up to you."

"What a load of bull," Hitsugaya growled, "Do you actually expect me to believe that? You brought me here."

"Correction. _You_ brought _me_ here."

"Debatable." Hitsugaya sighed. "Look, I'm too tired for games. What do I need to do?"

"Overcome the past, I suppose."

"Right." Hitsugaya shrugged. "If you say so. Bakudo Number Nine: Geki!"

He wearily raised his hand, and a red light shot out from it, attempting to bind Past. He reached for Hyorinmaru before realizing that he'd left it in his room. Snarling, he moved on to another spell.

Past's smile widened. "You might get home, but I'm not going away."

Hitsugaya brought his arms together, one of them holding her robes. He wouldn't miss. "Hado Number Thirty-Three, Sokat-"

The world blurred, and Hitsugaya found himself clutching his bed sheets. He stopped himself from launching a fireball into them and sat for a moment.

_What the hell just happened?_

He tried to sort it out logically. It was his specialty, after all. _Either that was some kind of nightmare, or a really elaborate prank – probably with special kido mixed into the drink from earlier, or I'm going insane. No matter which one it is, that's the last time I'm drinking Rangiku's eggnog._

He flopped back down onto his bed, feeling more tired than when he'd started. _It has to be the prank option. Hina-Marley from earlier, and the 'Ghost of Christmas Past,' looked exactly like Momo and Matsumoto. Someone is having a lot of fun at my expense._ The logical candidates pointed to the Women's Association as the usual suspects. _Between Lieutenant Ise and Momo, they could probably manage Kido strong enough to create that little show. That has to be it._ Feeling better, he closed his eyes.

One thought bothered him, though, as he went back to sleep. _But… not even Momo knew about the incident in the street, or that conversation with Kusaka and the others at the Academy. How did they know…?_

**

* * *

**

**Part 4 – Presents of Mind**

Histugaya once again awoke to the tolling of a clock tower, somewhere in the distance. He got up and looked out the window. "Okay, seriously, where is that coming from?"

He tried to think back to when he'd read _A Christmas Carol._ The next one to visit him would be whoever the pranksters had picked to play the Ghost of Christmas Present. He or she would be surrounded by gifts and a huge feast, which Hitsugaya decided wouldn't be so bad – the effects of Matsumoto's eggnog were wearing off, and he was getting hungry.

From the door, a sudden glow appeared, followed by deep, if raspy, laughter. Hitsugaya followed it to its source, and stopped to stare.

Kenpachi Zaraki, Captain of the Eleventh Division, stood in the middle of Hitsugaya's kitchen. But not as Hitsugaya had ever seen him before.

To begin with, Zaraki was wearing a huge green robe and pants, with white fur and little bells lining at the edges and sleeves of the robe. It was belted down with a wide, black belt, and Zaraki had on a pair of matching boots, all of which were held in place with gold buckles and straps. Zaraki himself did not have his hair spiked as usual – it hung down his back, naturally, and a wreath of holly sat on his head like a crown. In addition, Zaraki was missing his eye patch and nameless Zanpakuto, and instead held a large, heavy silver torch in one hand, and the torch was lit.

He laughed. "Welcome, Scrooge-chan. What brings you here at this hour?"

Hitsugaya blinked. "Zaraki? How in the world did they manage to scam you into doing this?"

More laughter. "Surely you know by now, Scrooge-chan. I am _not_ Zaraki Kenpachi. I am the Ghost of Christmas Present."

Hitsugaya crossed his arms. "Fine. Where's the feast?"

Present blinked. "Pardon?"

"The feast! You're supposed to be surrounded by huge piles of food – come on, this was the one part of the story I was looking forward to!"

"What do you need a feast for? It's two in the morning!"

"And what about your eye patch? Without that, shouldn't you have demolished my home with your Spiritual Pressure?"

Present tilted his head to one side. His robes jingled. "Do you _want_ me to obliterate your home?"

"No." Hitsugaya sighed. "Alright, let's get on with it."

The giant man nodded. "Alright then, Scrooge-chan, I've talked to Hina-Marley, and she says that you already know the basic plot, here. What do you think happens next?"

Hitsugaya thought back to the story. "You show me the Christmas celebrations of all the happy and well adjusted people that I work with, juxtaposing it with my own lack of Yule Tide joy to emphasize the emptiness of my existence?"

"Bingo."

"Hah!" Hitsugaya crowed. "Sucks to be you, then, because there _are_ no well-adjusted people in the Gotei Thirteen. It's crazies from one end to the other."

"Nonetheless, let's go see how the rest of the crazies are doing." Present waved his torch, bells still jingling, and Hitsugaya found himself looking at what appeared, at first glance, to be a Women's Association meeting. Both Kotetsu sisters, Nanao Ise, Nemu Kurotsuchi, Rangiku, Rukia Kuchiki, Momo Hinamori, Yachiru Kusajishi, Captain Soifon, and even Captain Unohana were there. But then he spotted the others – Captain Kyoraku, Captain Ukitake, Captain Komamura, Renji Abarai, Tetsuzaemon Iba, Marechiyo Omaeda, Ikakku Madarame, Yumichika Ayasegawa, Shuuhei Hisagi, Izuru Kira, and even, surprisingly, Byakuya Kuchiki.

The atmosphere was best described as relaxed. It was also, somehow, mid-morning.

Hitsugaya blinked. "Hey! Aren't you supposed to be the Ghost of Christmas Present?"

Present nodded. "I am."

"Then isn't this the future? I mean, this is tomorrow, right?"

Present sighed. "Look, Charles Dickens didn't care about that," he looked out at the readers, "and you shouldn't either."

Hitsugaya blinked. "Who are you talking to?"

"Don't worry about it, just watch."

Watch they did. The people at the party passed around gifts. They talked, both about the goings-on in the Gotei Thirteen, and about completely irrelevant things. Conversations ranged from polite to mocking. Everyone tried Matsumoto's eggnog. Everyone hated it. Rangiku herself was the only one who drank it in any quantity, usually with a generous rum component.

This didn't go unnoticed by some of the others. Nanao watched Rangiku pour. "Care for some eggnog with your rum, Matsumoto? Not that I blame you – your ability to screw up any recipe you find has once again manifested. Have you mastered the rice plus boiling water combination yet?"

Rangiku rolled her eyes. "Oh hush. 'Tis the season and all that."

Nanao sipped her tea. "The season to get hammered, I suppose. I'm surprised that you're not stumbling around already."

"Hah! I'm storing the extra in my boobs!" Rangiku jerked a thumb at her chest. "Extra capacity, my flat friend!"

"I weep for your future children."

Kyoraku made his way over to them. "Nanao, I'm surprised you're still here! You usually leave these parties early."

"I saw you waiting by the door, under the mistletoe. If you don't quit hovering there, you're going to wind up having to kiss Captain Komamura or something."

Rangiku interrupted. "Besides, it's time for our annual contest!"

"Alright, my dear, but be warned – I won't let you win this year." Kyoraku bowed solemnly.

"As if! I'll drink you so far under the table that you'll come out at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in Hueco Mundo!"

The three of them laughed. Scenes like that were repeated throughout the party.

"Amazing, isn't it?"

Hitsugaya looked at Present. "I know. All those officers and no work getting done."

Present raised an eyebrow. "You can't mean that. Unohana and Ukitake are there – the very models of responsibility. They're here because they get so little time to talk to others normally. It makes them cherish these kinds of opportunities more, rather than less."

"Fine, but it's different for me." Hitsugaya waved his hand at the crowd. "Ukitake and Unohana are _very_ senior captains. They have nothing to prove to anyone. I've got to run my division at peak efficiency, or else…"

"Or else what?"

"I don't know. I have a hard time being taken seriously as it is. I don't need the added headaches that a disorganized Squad would bring."

"I wonder. Do you think your fellow officers feel the same way?" Present gestured back to the party.

Rangiku and Kyoraku were sitting across from each other. Rangiku raised her first glass. "I'd like to begin with a toast to my Captain! Best in the Gotei Thirteen!"

Hitsugaya blinked. The room fell quiet.

Ukitake broke the silence. "Well, he has a very well-organized division…"

"I worry about his mental health." Unohana sighed. "He carries this giant weight around with him."

Byakuya Kuchiki sipped at his drink. "He's far too serious."

Rukia actually did a spit-take when he said that. Fortunately, no one except Renji noticed.

Kyoraku shrugged. "He always came across as a little insecure to me."

"Insecure and cold." Hisagi frowned. "What guy his age doesn't come to a good party? It's not right."

"It's perfectly fine if he wants to miss a party." Isane offered. "Some people are too busy to do this all the time."

"But he's not _that_ busy all the time. He can't be. Even if he _is_ doing half of Matsumoto's work."

"More like two-thirds." Matsumoto offered. "But he keeps taking on more. It's like he'd rather fight a Vasto Lorde than have a night out.

Renji grinned. "That sounds more like Zaraki. What's he doing anyway?"

"Fighting a Vasto Lorde!" Yachiru shouted. Everyone laughed.

"He's actually trying to talk to his zanpakuto." Present offered. "But you see that most of the others don't think that your age is actually the issue, here."

Hitsugaya watched further. There was someone separate from the festivities, even though she was at the party.

"Ah, I see you've noticed Momo. Few people do, these days." Present pointed his torch at her, and Hitsugaya found that he could see her even when people crossed in front of her.

She wasn't saying much, or doing much. She appeared to be at the party almost against her will, although she occasionally kept looking hopefully at the door, as the party went on and Kyoraku and Rangiku slowly lost higher reasoning and motor control. Finally, Rangiku passed out, to the cheers and groans of the others.

Hitsugaya frowned. "She looks…"

Present leaned in. "Lonely? Bored? Maybe she should try solitaire."

Hitsugaya glared at him, but Present pressed on. "When Matsumoto mentioned bored, pretty girls, she wasn't, at that moment, talking about herself."

"That's a rare moment!"

"I know, but try to stay focused. Momo is still recovering in many ways from Aizen's betrayal and the Winter War. She knows that everyone is still injured in some way or another, but she doesn't know what to do with it. And you brush her off every time she tries to talk to you."

"Not _every_ t-"

"_Every_ time, Scrooge-chan."

Hitsugaya snarled, stepping forward. "Now hold on! I'm working my _ass_ off to do my duties _and_ train to protect her – her, you get it? It's not like she isn't on my mind."

"Momo doesn't need a guardian, Scrooge-chan. If you ask me, Momo needs the same thing that little boy, crying over a frozen puddle, needed. She's had her idol taken away. What are you going to take from her?"

"Nothing!"

"Don't be too sure."

Momo finally got up and left. No one seemed to notice.

Hitsugaya watched in silence for a moment. "So will she recover?"

Present frowned. "Well, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present, so seeing into the future is a little hard for me to do, but I see an empty place where she was sitting, and an unused Lieutenant's Badge in the Fifth Division office."

"Momo isn't a quitter, and she's not weak enough that she needs to depend on me." Hitsugaya objected.

"Things change." Present shrugged. "I would know. Nothing changes with Past. Future is always different. I, however, am the one that sees Future's domain solidify and enter that of Past." Present looked back at Momo. "Even so, some things stay the same – for instance, everything has a breaking point, and Momo has been through quite a lot."

Hitsugaya looked at him. "I know, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do about it." He hesitated. "Say, are you older than you were a few minutes ago?"

"That would be correct, Scrooge-chan. My time is always limited, and there is never any time like it. But I have one more thing to show you." Present pulled aside his robe, revealing a tiny, pink-haired form that looked remarkably like Yachiru Kusajishi clinging to his leg, dressed in rags. "She is Ignorance and Want. And you should be _very_ wary of her, for she will be mankind's doom!"

"I believe it." Hitsugaya blinked as realization dawned. "Hey! You're the reason why the feast was missing!"

Ignorance and Want shrugged. "I was *BURP* hungry, okay?"

Hitsugaya gritted his teeth. "Fine. Are we done here? Take me home so that I can meet the last of you jokers and get this over with."

"Take you home? Oh no, little one, I saw you start chucking fireballs at Past. You can stay right here until Future comes to pick you up. Say hello to Future for me, Scrooge-chan." And with a final wave of his torch and one last jingle, Present passed Hitsugaya by and disappeared.

"My _name_," Hitsugaya shouted, "is _Shiro-chan… _I mean, _Captain Hitsugaya!_ Gah!"

He stood there for a moment before turning back to the party, before realizing that night had come once again. He had a brief moment of disorientation. This part of the Seireitei was unfamiliar to him, and he groaned. It could take him a couple of hours to get oriented and get back home.

It was kind of curious, though. With Zaraki gone, the prankster crew's Kido should be fading. But it wasn't. He pondered that as he tried to figure out where he was…

* * *

**Part 5 – The Once and Future Scrooge**

Hitsugaya flash-stepped to a nearby roof, and looked out across the Seireitei, hoping to get his bearings. Across the street, a figure in a huge black cloak looked back at him.

Hitsugaya once again reached for Hyorinmaru, and once again found his Zanpakuto missing. A moment later the cloaked figure was next to him. Hitsugaya could see nothing except a long, grey-white beard emerging from the hood. "I get it. You're Isane Kotetsu, with a huge fake beard. There's no one else that Matsumoto could have conned into helping her with this that's so tall."

The figure shook its head. Hitsugaya rolled his eyes. "Alright, you're the Ghost of Christmas Future, then. And you're not going to talk to me."

Future nodded.

"Because that would be too convenient."

Future nodded again.

"Alright, take me where you will."

Lightning cracked and flashed. Thunder boomed nearby. A moment later, Hitsugaya was looking at the West Gate. Two figures stood there. Himself – still looking like a kid, he noted with irritation – and Momo Hinamori. It was raining in horribly cliché fashion.

Momo looked at his future self. "Everyone else said their goodbyes already."

"I know." He responded. "But I didn't come to say goodbye."

"Oh?"

"I just wanted to know why you were leaving."

"Ah." Momo sighed. "There's not that much left for me here. Aizen is locked away until the end of time, and I still need to work some things out in my head about that. The new captain can handle things just fine until a new lieutenant steps in. I barely talk to any of the other officers these days, even at the Vice-Captain meetings, and it's been ages since I went to one of the Women's Association get-togethers." Momo looked at him. "And frankly, the fire is gone. I just don't have the drive that I once did. I don't know what happened to it. Maybe it died."

"Oh… well… we could…"

"We could what? You're a busy man, as you've pointed out to me any number of times. Look, I'm touched that you took time out of your day to see me, but I need to go – a surprising number of people pitched in to help me get set up in the Rukongai. In fact, Rukia convinced her brother to find enough legal loopholes to get me this break. Apparently you're usually not allowed to retire from the Gotei Thirteen, especially when you have a history of 'mental illness.' Who knew?"

Momo smiled sadly. "While I'm out and about, I'll send any promising Soul Reaper Candidates your way, and I'll be sure to write.

"Momo. I…" Future-Hitsugaya paused. "Goodbye."

Momo nodded, and moved through the gate as Jidanbo lifted it. "Goodbye, Captain Hitsugaya."

Hitsugaya could feel Future staring at him. "What? You guys are the ones making this up."

Lightning cracked again. Hitsugaya was once again in his office, watching himself and Rangiku. Strangely, both of them were hard at work. Far off in the distance, a booming tune tolled out that it was ten at night.

"For the love of Kido! We don't _have_ a clock tower! We're not getting one in the future either!" Hitsugaya paused as both he (the future him) and Rangiku got up, nodded to each other, and left.

"What, no goofy stuff from Matsumoto? No whining about actually doing some work? This really is a strange future."

Future started to follow Matsumoto, and Hitsugaya followed Future. Unsurprisingly, it led to the nearest bar, where Hisagi and Kira were already waiting. Future directed Hitsugaya inside.

Hisagi waved. "Heeeey! Matsumoto!"

"Hi." She said, tiredly, and sat down. "The usual," she said to the bartender.

"You look tired." Kira said. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Rangiku shrugged. "But Momo left earlier. I didn't think I'd be this bummed out over it, but I am."

"I know, right? Well, she may come back one day. I mean, we've got all of eternity, after all."

"I know."

Hisagi leaned back against the bar. "So what's going on with Captain Iceball, huh? Is he still keeping you working late?"

"Yeah. Gotta do it, though, or he'll kill himself, trying to do it all. I really thought that doing a bit more than my share would lighten his load, but he just keeps taking on more."

"Called it!" Hisagi took a gulp from his mug.

"Classy." Kira looked at Rangiku. "Is there anything you can do?"

"Not really. At least he had the decency to say goodbye to Momo. Not with everyone else, mind, but he found a way."

"Well, good for him for showing a little concern. I mean, it's about a year late and shorter than he is, but good for him."

"…Right."

Hitsugaya stalked out. "Right, because Matsumoto is magically going to offer to start acting like a proper lieutenant? And then everything goes to Hell? Give me a break." Hitsugaya scowled. What bothered him the most was actually the bit earlier, in his office. It was exactly what he'd always claimed to want, but it had seemed so… sterile.

"Are you done yet? This crazy fortune telling seems a bit much, and you've showed me that I'm still alive, so the big impact is wasted – it's not like you're going to show me my tomb."

Hitsugaya pondered, still rattled. "Hey, why not show me what I'll look like when I've finally grown up? Come on; take us a few decades into the future. I'll at least get something out of this trip."

Future beckoned him over. Taking a few steps closer, Hitsugaya finally heard a raspy whisper. "You want to see what you look like in the future?"

Hitsugaya nodded as he took another step closer.

Future continued. "Very well then, Scrooge-chan. If you continue on this path…"

Another step.

"…in just a few years…"

Another step.

"…you will look…"

Step.

"…like…"

One more.

Future jerked its hood back. Looming over Hitsugaya, right in his face, was the scarred, bald, wrinkled, and bearded visage of Head-Captain Yamamoto. "MEEEEEE!" Future roared.

"WAAAAAGH!" Hitsugaya fell back onto the cold stones of the road, looking in horror at it. His mind, still churning through the logic behind his situation, came up with two possibilities, the more likely one being that he'd been talking down to the Head Captain all night.

"A thousand apologies! I had no idea it was you, sir!"

"I AM NOT YOUR HEAD CAPTAIN. I AM YOUR FUTURE, AND THAT SHOULD FRIGHTEN YOU EVEN MORE! NOW STOP BEING A JOYLESS ICECUBE OR YOU'LL BE AN OLD MAN BEFORE YOU REACH PUBERTY! DO YOU HEAR ME?

Hitsugaya blacked out.

Future looked at him. "Damn. I overdid it again."

* * *

**Part 6 – A Shiro-chan Christmas**

Hitsugaya awoke with dawn filtering in through his windows. No phantom clocks chimed in the distance. No ghosts that looked like his fellow officers were bothering him. He knew, finally, that it was over.

Or maybe not. Maybe it was just beginning. Even if it was a prank, what he had seen last night gave him reasons to wonder. Was he hiding from others? Becoming increasingly isolated? It was hard to say.

He pondered it for a while longer, before he made his decision. _Not this year!_

He got up, got dressed, and grabbed Hyorinmaru from near his bed. _What are we doing today?_ Hyorinmaru asked him. _More training?_

"Not at all, but we are going to get a little exercise. Are you ready, Hyorinmaru?"

_Of course._

Hitsugaya flash-stepped to the roof of his home. It rarely snowed naturally in the Seireitei, but he was ready to fix that. "Bankai, Daiguren Hyorinmaru!"

A blast of spiritual pressure carried him high into the air, and he hovered there. Conditions had to be just right, but fortunately for him the weather had always been easily manipulated by Hyorinmaru. A minute later, a heavy snow was falling on the Seireitei. Hitsugaya sped back home - had a lot to do, and very little time to do it in...

* * *

An hour or two after that, Hitsugaya found Rangiku blearily staring out her front door as she tried to wake up. _Small wonder - she's been up half the night,_ he thought. Even on a normal day, Rangiku's mind worked like Doc Brown's Delorean from _Back to the Future – _it ran on junk food and alcohol, was hard to start in the morning, and was prone to sudden time travel. On this day, she looked more like a zombie.

She rubbed at her eyes, still not really awake. She sort-of focused on Hitsugaya, but clearly didn't recognize him. "You there, boy! What day is it today?"

She was answered by a snowball to the face. She gave a startled shriek, and then a louder shriek as the snow dropped down the front of her uniform. "Aaaaah! Damn it, kid, I'm going to-"

"Why, it's Chritsmas Day, Rangiku!" Hitsugaya called out cheerfully, in his most cherubic voice.

Rangiku clawed snow out of her eyes. "Who _are _you?" She finally woke up enough to realize what was going on. "Sir! I, uh… I thought you'd be at the office already."

"I know, but I decided to take the day off. It turns out that I have a lot of vacation saved up."

"Uh…"

"Look, I know you did most of you party planning already, but I was kind of hoping to come to it anyway. Is that going to be a problem? I can bring my own food and drink, if need be…"

"Uh, no sir. It shouldn't be an issue, but…"

"But?"

She blinked. "I thought there was a lot of work you wanted to get done."

"Well, I've checked around, and it turns out that we're actually ahead of most of the other divisions with regards to paperwork. And we're way, _way_ ahead of the Central Forty-Six, so we can definitely afford to take a day or two off. I mean, we still have to keep on full alert for Hollows, rotating in and out of the World of the Living, but anyone not on active combat duty can take a break."

He suddenly found Haineko at his throat. "Okay, it's a convincing costume, kid, but who are you and where is the real Captain Hitsugaya?"

He grinned. It felt strange. "It's really me. For instance, I know that your eggnog is _terrible._ I mean _legendarily_ bad. I found out why, too – you forgot to add the sugar, the vanilla extract, and the heavy cream, and you also forgot most of the preparations, like cooking and chilling it. You're basically serving really milky rum and raw eggs."

Rangiku blinked. "How did you figure that out?"

"It was on the back side of the recipe you were using."

"That… would make sense. I thought it was just an acquired taste." She put her Zanpakuto away, dazed. "Er… I'm glad you're coming to the party."

"Me too! I'll see you later, Matsumoto."

* * *

"Shiro-chan, you made it!" Momo plowed into Hitsugaya as he got through the door, wrapping him in a hug. "I thought you were going to be too busy!"

The party had been postponed from midmorning to late evening, due to some last minute adjustments by Rangiku, but no one seemed to mind.

"Well, I was wrong." He hugged her back, and then gave her a brief kiss. She blinked at him and he pointed up. "Mistletoe."

"Ah! So there is." She looked at him, curiously. "You seem… different." She did too, for that matter – among other things, she was wearing a little Santa Claus hat, which he hadn't remembered from before, and she already looked better.

"Well, not that different. But I decided to try to unwind for a day. I figure that my division won't fall apart without me if I take a little time to rest now and then. And I'll get more time to spend on… other things."

"Well that's great!" Momo said. "I was thinking about leaving…"

"You can't leave! We still need to watch Rangiku's annual bout with Captain Kyoraku."

Momo shook her head. "Rangiku is doomed. I never have the heart to tell her, but Kyoraku's been letting her win. This year he isn't going to, though."

"I know. But I figure that maybe moral support is going to tip the balance in her favor."

The party went on largely as Hitsugaya remembered it, but this time he was a participant in the conversations. And of course, there was no conversation specifically about him. Whatever the others thought of him now, it would remain private. _Perhaps,_ he thought, _that's for the best._

But something about the contest was different. Hitsugaya remembered Rangiku losing, but it was Kyoraku who slumped over first. Nanao Ise rolled her eyes. "He's been in the eggnog all night. I told him it would cost him."

Rukia looked at her glass. "Everyone's been at it. There's hardly any left."

Kiyone laughed. "I guess we finally found a recipe so simple that even Rangiku could get it right."

Some of the others laughed too, including Rangiku. Hitsugaya grinned at Momo. "I suppose that's twice I've been proven wrong today. You know we have to take her home now."

She grinned back. "I know. Let's get the victor to bed."

* * *

Hitsugaya and Momo shut Rangiku's door and stepped out into the street. Hitsugaya sighed. "That was quite a prank you and the others pulled last night. I didn't think you had that kind of acting in you. And getting Zaraki and the Head Captain in on it was a nice touch."

Momo froze, figuratively speaking.

Hitsugaya smiled – it didn't feel quite as strange now. "You don't have to hide anything. It's over with now, right?"

Momo looked at him. "Ah… Toshiro… we were going to pull that prank tonight. That's why Matsumoto had the original party scheduled for midmorning, but she moved it to a better time because it seemed a little out of place, after you changed your mind about coming. And Zaraki and Yamamoto weren't in on it. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

Hitsugaya considered. This had to be the final part of the prank – Momo and the others denying that they'd done anything and that he'd really been haunted. But…

There was the small matter of those parts of his past. They'd been _exactly_ like he remembered, too accurate to be guesswork on Momo's or Rangiku's part.

There's been the unearthly sunken look to Momo when she'd walked in as Hina-Marley. And her spiritual pressure had seemed so far away.

Zaraki's eyepatch had been missing, but his normally roaring spiritual pressure had barely registered.

The little kid that had been Toshiro looked _exactly_ like him. How many kids out in the Rukongai had white hair, anyway?

Almost no one in the Gotei Thirteen had the Kido expertise to create illusions of some of the things he'd seen last night.

And there was no way Yamamoto would be involved in anything like this.

_Clink. Clashink._

He shook his head. He had to be imagining things.

_Clink. Clank. CLUNK._

He looked up at the roof as a clock boomed somewhere in the distance. He saw a much better-looking Hina-Marley jump down and merge with Momo, who didn't seem to notice. He saw that Hina-Marley had left several lockboxes and a filing cabinet behind on the roof.

He looked back at Momo. "Never better."

She nodded. "Well, this was great. I'm glad you got out of the office for a bit."

"I am too."

The two of them started walking. They were taking a route back to Momo's home, one that Hitsugaya had specifically prepared when he had used Hyorinmaru, earlier.

"It will be a shame to go back to the way things were. I really enjoyed today."

"Well… I could certainly do this again, maybe even soon. And there's no reason we can't have a small Christmas party every year. And I could take some time off now and then. Maybe we should get dinner some time? I know you're still recovering from the war, but I figured it would help to get things back to normal, or even better."

Momo considered seriously. "I'd like that."

Hitsugaya stopped and looked up. There, under one of the large, squared arches, was a giant, icy sculpture of a chunk of mistletoe, right where he'd put it earlier. Momo looked up and giggled.

Friends. Fellowship. Or maybe something more.

_Merry Christmas indeed._

* * *

A trio of figures watched the two Soul Reapers embrace as snow fell around them.

Future snorted. "Well, that's another one. Who's next?"

Present crossed Toshiro Hitsugaya off of an enormous scroll. He looked at the next name on the list. "Who the Dickens is this?"

Past shrugged. "I don't know. It sounds like a completely different universe."

Present frowned. "No, it's this one. But it's in the mortal world and a bit into the future."

Future rubbed his hands together. "Best get moving, then. I'm not getting any younger."

"You're not getting any older, either."

"You know what I mean. Hang on. We'll be there in just a moment."

A gust of wind blew an extra-heavy spray of snow past them. When it settled down, the spirits were gone.

* * *

_**Epilogue: A Shinigami Carol**_

_So while he is known, our young captain dear,_

_As a joyless icicle the rest of the year,_

_He stopped hiding from all of his fellow ghost friends,_

_And started a new Carol, one with no ends._

_Now he makes time for Momo, as much as he can,_

_And lets his Division rest now and again._

_But the most drastic change, those who know him all say,_

_Is what he does each morning of each Christmas day._

_Now and then, 'ere three hundred and sixty-five days,_

_He suspends all his work and his usual ways._

_He knows that this Christmas thing isn't so bad,_

_And goes out of his way to be merry and glad._

_In the middle of all of that snow, he defrosts!_

_And loosens up about work, about costs._

_And those nights, after he freezes the skies,_

_He returns to the spot of his ghostly surprise._

_Where he tacks up a message of holiday cheer:_

"_Merry Christmas: but please, make appointments next year."_

* * *

**The End**

As before, Merry Late Christmas everyone. On further reflection, this contained a lot more Momo X Hitsugaya than I'd originally planned.

Questions, comments, criticism, etc. are all highly appreciated. Please review!


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